The real cost of a trade-off

Staying away from emails is a major pain in my butt. I can’t handle it. Or so, I thought. Been trying hard NOT to check my emails for the past 48 hours… success! I broke the spell just a few minutes back though. A guess what? The house didn’t catch fire. It’s still in place.

The world didn’t explore and things turned out just fine. Like I’d expected. Sure, I made a few hasty decisions (like book tickets two days ahead of my schedule) but it’s a learning lesson nonetheless… to take it easy. And perhaps, let it go.

Could I make this transition fully once I start working for myself again? I’m really not sure. Chances are, I’ll still be anxious/jittery for the same damn reasons I’ve been stressed out for the past several years. Can I improve on it? Sure! Would I? That’s the real question.

Perhaps, I’ve developed this disease over time and the only way to cope is to handle it with care. Sensibly. It’s not a bad thing considering that I actually like to work hard and be on the edge. Moreover, learning to back off when things get over the top is something that I’ve accepted (to act on) as well.

Sometimes finding the ideal balance isn’t the way to go. Instead, lean on your weaknesses to strengthen the aspects of life that needs your attention. My inability to stay away from work has led to me to manage my priorities, expectations, teams, relationships and choosing my battles/challenges better.

If you’re thinking, “that’s one (weird) way to look at this, Sunil!” I can empathize. But to me, the most important questions are: Am I reaping the benefits? Yes! Am I growing? Yes! Then that’s a worthy trade-off in my opinion.

I’m growing at a cost that’s truly mine to borne.


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