Don’t be a “shoulda-head”

Was scrolling through my “promotional” emails (thanks, Gmail! Are you even listening?) this afternoon before bumping into this nugget by Brain Johnson from Optimize.

Here’s a snippet:

He (Rory Vaden) says: “I believe it is that 1 degree that is the minuscule, almost unnoticeable, nearly invisible, yet the tantamount difference between choosing an attitude that says, ‘I’m not sure yet,’ and one that says, ‘I’m in for good.’ That is, one that asks, ‘Should I?’ versus one that asks, ‘How will I?’

This 1-degree difference of commitment distinguishes which people you can count on and which ones will flake out on you.”

1 degree.

It makes all the difference.

And… For the record, you know who incessantly asks the (hand-wringing whiney) “Should I do this question?”

Yep. A should-head.

Do or do not as one wise, green Jedi put it. But don’t be a should-head.

Are you being a should-head with anything?

If it’s worth doing, give it all you’ve got.

I’ve been a shoulda-head (modified to suit my style ;-)) all my life until I got married. And no, my wife’s got nothing to do (at least not directly) with the transformation I’ve had as far as my thinking goes!

What I did realize was the impact that a mere 1-degree effort can deliver. It’s massive beyond measure. There’s a reason why going “all-in” makes a difference compared to just “dipping your toe.” The former calls for a lot of courage and faith, while the latter… I don’t know quite well how to explain that. Just being honest.

In the gym, for example, I’ve failed several reps when I’ve been reluctant to either pull the weight or was just not mentally ready (owing to lack of sleep, crappy diet or just not enough rest!). At the same time, I’ve pulled the most weight while breaking personal records while in the same state as above. What changed? Attitude. I went from being a “shoulda-head” to asking “how can I?”

I’ve made blunders, met with accidents (not-so-serious injuries, thankfully) and being my worst self each time I’ve been a version of a “shoulda-head.” Trust me when I say this, you can’t move any further if your mind’s clouded with judgment or doubts. And all it takes to change your state is reframe your question — from “should I do this?” to “how can I do this?”

The right questions coach you. The right questions reframe your thinking. The right questions can turn your life around.

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