Becoming one isn’t for everyone. In fact, I think you either have it in you or don’t. Sure, you can take a couple of workshops on Emotional Intelligence but that’s just a temporary fix up. You will raise your level of self-awareness and/or perhaps learn a few techniques that you can apply to your people in professional or personal lives.
Does it work? Nope. Because you can awaken an ignorant person but that isn’t enough to transform the ignorant into saints.
Now to be fair, some people (mostly elite performers) can choose to make it work but that’s rare treat. And that’s because they become aware that their conditioning and environment had a major influence in shaping their personalities and adding EQ/EI would help them become better. The commitment level matters.
Consider the above with someone who single-mindedly focuses on their key performance indicators or key areas of responsibilities. Their measure of success mostly revolves around (at least according to them):
- They’re successful because they’re good at what they do (and not people)
- They’re not paid to be nice with people but to deliver results
- People aren’t committed enough… and they can “see” the ones who are (you know, the ones who stay back until the bosses leave)
- I tell them what to do and they get it done
What would you gauge from the aforementioned thoughts? Would you think they’ll be a successful leader? Or a manager?
The answer is obvious. YES!
They would make a great leader for an organization for whom the bottom line is just the numbers. Would the organization survive? Of course, it would! But for not for the long haul.
That’s because people matter.
And while you can’t transform someone into a people’s person overnight, you surely can work on raising their level of awareness about their “self” besides the EQ/EI. I’ve observed that dramatically raises their effectiveness with people. And that’s a great start to work towards building a culture that leads with intention.
People are flawed. They’re not perfect and will have shortcomings. And they just might never be able to fulfill your level of expectations. But that doesn’t make them incompetent, uncommitted or be treated like any less good than you would like to be treated yourself.
The most effective way to influence performance at any level is to understand the root cause. And if you and I were to look into it, we’ll realize that the fault is our own.
Can we fix it? Yes, if we can accept it.
P.S. Speaking of people… did you check out last night’s post? Please do… it’s worth the read.