On relationships

I rarely talk about relationships. One of the reasons is that I don’t think I’m an expert in relationships, which stems from my not having a perfect relationship with anyone.

I think to a large extent; all relationships are fundamentally flawed. And that’s okay. The only perfect relationship we can ever have is with the people who’re not with us or the Gods up above us all. Do you know why? Because everyone else can talk back!

Relationships can be as complicated or straightforward as you would like to make. Yes, complexities are uncalled for, and nobody likes it, but there are times when a complex relationship is needed to grow and develop as a human being.

A father and son or mother and daughter relationship can be the most beautiful and simple or one of the most devastating relationships. But can you avoid it? I don’t think anyone can. What we can do is to learn from it and figure out ways to be better.

Over the years, I’ve observed that all relationships come down to the following aspects:

  1. Don’t make relationships any more complicated than it has to be. And if you find yourself in a complicated one but do understand its value and place in life, invest in the relationship instead of overanalysing.
  2. Simpler relationships are hard to maintain as it’s damn easy to take people for granted. People in simpler relationships are more fragile than the ones in complex relationships. They spend a lot of time maintaining and rebuilding trust.
  3. Communication is the only way to strengthen your relationships. And at times, it helps to even over-communicate.
  4. If you value your relationships, please, make it about the other person. This is non-negotiable. You will have to deeply listen to the other person to be able to understand them. I’ve seen people ruin it for themselves by making every damn thing about themselves.
  5. Invest in your relationships. Make the time for the other person. Give them enough reasons to reciprocate. It will be one of your life’s best investments.

The above are time-tested principles that I know of and have practised over the past many years. Like leadership, building and maintaining relationships is a practice. You master relationships over time, not overnight.

All the best!

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