I’m reading this fascinating book by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga titled “The Courage to be Disliked” that highlights some fundamental principles of Adlerian Psychology. And while I’m still reading this book, I have found the following three aspects quite important:
- We’re not stuck being who we are; we can choose to change and develop as much as we want, so long as we’re mentally prepared to experience hurt and disappointment along the journey.
- Living in the moment is the best way to live. Sure, making plans and focusing on efforts can help you succeed, but you can’t postpone your life pursuing your successes. The pursuit can’t be the be-all and end-all in your life; that’s suffering!
- Not caring about others is the key to getting unstuck. We must learn how to care about other people’s opinions of who we are and what we do; instead, we should focus on what we can do to contribute to the global community.
Observing, accepting, and practising the principles above doesn’t require a seismic change to our lifestyles. They’re tweaks to our day-to-day that we can incorporate and solidify over time.
The question is — do you have the courage to change?
“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.”